where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dicks are not precious.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
