is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
