We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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