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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  he said i'm too pretty to suck penis

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• (607): View more from New York

  How was dinner with ur grandparents?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.

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  29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just said the magic words

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.

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  21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out

  (253): View more from Washington

  why what happened?

  (607): View more from New York

  Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.

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• (707): View more from California

  in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Sorry I peed on your ottoman

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