I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
