Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

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  (262): Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin http://tfl.nu/0pd1
  Replies (65) Good night (3939) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.

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  (631): I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches. http://tfl.nu/ic23
  Replies (28) Good night (621) Bad night (7135)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

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  (214): I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day. http://tfl.nu/pcf7
  Replies (26) Good night (5365) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.

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  (775): You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape. http://tfl.nu/xad4
  Replies (33) Good night (5133) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.

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  (718): I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary. http://tfl.nu/e3xl
  Replies (155) Good night (8231) Bad night (8579)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already

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  (508): I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already http://tfl.nu/v6oe
  Replies (25) Good night (3905) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy

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  (479): I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy http://tfl.nu/jx3n
  Replies (8) Good night (2061) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I hope you did not try this.

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  (404): When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face. (706): I hope you did not try this. http://tfl.nu/9l4w
  Replies (10) Good night (1649) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.

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  (419): Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/1dog
  Replies (4) Good night (1379) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.

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  (513): I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move. http://tfl.nu/stfw
  Replies (5) Good night (903) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.

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  (702): Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE. http://tfl.nu/l3z1
  Replies (8) Good night (1218) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer

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  (317): Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer http://tfl.nu/bezk
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.

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  (646): I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously. http://tfl.nu/f1wv
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show

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  (404): Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show http://tfl.nu/4xxy
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this

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  (313): If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this http://tfl.nu/se64
  Replies (4) Good night (303) Bad night (277)

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