you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
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:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
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Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was