If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!