the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL