what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
