did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
