is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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