Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
