i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
