those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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