Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize