Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
