so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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