I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
