...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
