when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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