Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the liver wants what the liver wants
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
