and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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