ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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