I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize