So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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