some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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