Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
