Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
