he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
