He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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