i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
