My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
