so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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