Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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