I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
