I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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