rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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