Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Is it because I queefed?
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize