in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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