i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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