We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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