y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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