Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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