My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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