Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize