don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
