No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize