playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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