it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
