I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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