Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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