So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
