guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
