my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
