lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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