Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
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