So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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