What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
