I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
