Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
