He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
