So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
